Thanksgiving 2013

Wow! I am so behind on blogging. There has been so much going on in this house and in the midst of the chaos, we all have been sick with something or another. Thanksgiving was wonderful. We headed to Idaho for the long 10 hour drive after church on Sunday before Thanksgiving. We didn't get to my parents house until late Sunday night after contemplating stopping at hotel multiple times because we were so exhausted. Plus, Collyn decided it would be wonderful to get car sick 5 hours in... in the middle of nowhere... In the dark. We didn't sleep great the first night because the boys slept most of the car ride. We were up until 1 AM playing with toys trying to wear them out. The next day, we spent the morning and afternoon at Lyndon's parents house and grandparents house. Alden and Collyn were able to help on the farm and get spoiled by the Haines and Hartnett's. :) In the evening, we spent time with my family. All 20 of them (or about). My mom made dinner and we enjoyed the evening.

The next few days we spent time back and forth from different houses. I was also able to visit some friends and neighbors that we used to live by when we were in Weiser. It was such a great visit. On the evening before Thanksgiving, we went out to Lyndon's grandparents house for pizza and dessert. On Thanksgiving, we spent the day at my parents house with all the family. We all ate WAY too much. Collyn was the first at the table and the last to leave. His favorite holiday, by far. FOOD! Alden was able to spend the night at my sister, Susan's, house the night before thanksgiving and both boys spent the night at Lyndon's parents house the night of Thanksgiving. On Friday, my mom, grandma, sisters, and I headed to Nampa, ID for Black Friday shopping. I got ALL my Christmas shopping done! ALL! Can you believe it!? Then, we had to cram into our car Saturday morning to head home because of all the presents I bought. Oops. I didn't think that one through. It was such a nice time with family.

On Friday night, we decorated my parents tree with the whole family. A annual tradition.

Potty Training 101: We're In The Midst of It

For the past 3-4 months we have attempted to potty train our oldest, Alden. He will be 3 in January so I figured it would be a good time to start. The first few months he was not for it. Then one day he just took to it and hasn't looked back. If you are in the middle of potty training or plan on training soon, here are just a few bits of advice from a mom who has recently gone through it.

1. Know your child. Not all kids potty train the same. I was told multiple ways to potty train. I tried most of them until one worked.

2. From personal experience, encourage, encourage, encourage! I made it a rule for me that I would not punish my children for accidents, I would only encourage and reward for success. It seems to work. The first time Alden fully went both number one and number two on the toilet I scared him because I was screaming, jumping up and down, kissing his cheeks, doing a "happy" dance for a good 45 seconds. He had the biggest smile on his face. I literally did this happy dance every time he went potty for at least 3-4 days. That's a lot of dancing. But, he was so excited when he went because he knew mommy would be so proud.

3. I tried the treats. It wasn't a big help. At first, I tried to give him M&M's every time he went potty. He didn't understand. He would sit on the potty, not go, then ask for the candy. I threw that idea out the window after day 1.

4. Know your child's potty schedule. This may be awkward, but it totally helped me. I knew that at around 10:45-11:15 every morning Alden would "stinky his pants". After I figured out this schedule, I would put him on the toilet with the Kindle, a Magnadoodle, a book, etc. to distract him and he would go without even knowing. He was scared to go in the toilet and this helped that fear. After the first time, he understood the concept.

5. Know that it won't happen in a day, a week, or even a month. Books are always talking about "Potty Train in 3 days!" Kids are kids. They have accidents. It's always a work in progress. Don't get upset or show you are upset when they have an accident. I always ask Alden if he had an accident and with a smile, I always say, "Well, we will have to try again!" and off we go to get cleaned up. I never want him to fear having an accident.

6. Take your child to pick out the potty seat and underwear. Alden was THRILLED to pick out his underwear. In the store I bent down and explained that he can't get these Disney Characters wet. He picked out his own potty seat. The one that sits on the adult toilet. He chose a Mickey Mouse Theme. Right when we got home I showed him how it worked and let him put it on himself, giving him the power of his potty chair.

7. We bought a toddler toilet that sits on the floor. We have never used it as a toilet. We only use it as a stool. It was just an expensive step-stool. I wouldn't waste your money on one.

8. This might be weird, but I took that potty seat everywhere with us. It went to church with us. I set it in the nursery bathroom. It goes on trips with us. He knows wherever we go, he has his seat. Once he understood the concept of holding himself up on the seat, I haven't taken it EVERYWHERE, but it is still close.

So, these are just some helpful hints for potty training. Every child is different. This is just stuff that I have noticed with our experience. Hope some of this helped. :)

Cutting Me Deep! Momma Needs To Stop Yelling.

Horrible Momma Confession... I've been yelling at my kids, and I HATE it!

Before I had children, Lyndon and I talked about parenting, discipline, punishment, how to run the home day to day, etc. I knew for a fact I wanted to stay home with my kids. We had those more than hilarious "We will never" and "We will Always" moments... before kids. Before the messes, the exhaustion, the potty training, the sickness, the poopy diapers, the late nights, the screaming whining kids, the parenting...

Some funny things we said we would NEVER do.... feed our kids fast food. They would NEVER be able to ask for McDonalds or Burger King by name. That was a joke. Sometimes it is just easier to pull through the drive than spend 45 minutes making a meal with kids clinging to your leg.

Anyway, I always said I would NEVER yell at my kids. I would NEVER spank my kids. I would NEVER lose my temper, I would just walk away and come back after a deep breath. Aww, if only I knew then what I know now. Life hits you hard.

Life in our house has been crazy lately. We have had the flu bug come through, we all currently have colds, Alden is still in the potty training process, we went on a trip to Idaho for a week, Collyn is teething, we have church obligations, I'm trying to get ready for the holidays, I try to keep my house clean, there is a never-ending amount of dishes in my sink, there is always laundry to do, beds to make, diapers to change, meals to prepare, messes to clean up, kids to pull off the table because they are about to make a suicidal jump from the top of it, movies to put in the DVD player, the list goes on and on.

The kids are at the age of fighting now. I used to think it was so hard to have a newborn and a 19 month old in the house. And, it was. I was exhausted. Collyn was up 4-5 times a night to nurse and Alden would wake up at 6:30-7 AM every morning ready to play. Now, for the most part they sleep through the night... We cross our fingers and say a prayer each night that they do. They will play together so I can get more done, but now they have more demands. They can tell me when they are hungry, when one of them hit them, when they have to go potty, when their sippy cup is empty, you get the idea. I am running all day long. They don't nap at the same time, because Alden rarely takes naps anymore. It's just exhausting being a mom.

Today, I was at the end of it all. Collyn has been fussy and by fussy I mean throwing himself on the ground screaming for a good half hour at a time, multiple times a day. I try to pick him up and calm him down and it doesn't help, so I just let him do his thing. Although, the screaming gets to you. Then, Alden is asking for multiple things and nothing is making Collyn happy. Collyn likes to hit. It's a joy. He attempted to hit me a few times and I caught his hand before he could and told him, "No." He then hit Alden because he wanted the toy Alden was playing with. It was one thing after another. I was trying to clean the kitchen because it was a disaster because the boys crunched crackers all over the floor and then Collyn spilled his apple juice on top of it all.

I lost it. Collyn was screaming his little rant and I got down and screamed at him "STOP CRYING!!!!! STOP IT!!!!" I couldn't handle it any more. Then, it scared him so he started crying more. I knew it was the wrong step to take, but in the moment I couldn't help it. After that, everything made me mad. I was getting after the kids for things I would have ignored if I wasn't angry. I was raising my voice at them for about an hour. I was frustrated and exhausted.

I called Lyndon and asked him if he could take his lunch early. he came home and relieved me and I went through Burger King (Yep, we would NEVER feed our kids fast food) drove around for a few minutes and then came home to eat our lunch. Lyndon got Collyn down for his nap so I knew I had a good 2 hours to take a breather. Lyndon left and the day went on. I knew I had messed up as a parent and was feeling pretty down. I prayed that God would help me through this day in one piece.

Lyndon has been super busy lately. He is working hard at the church, has meetings in the evenings, and now he is doing a first-responder course for the fire department 2 evenings a week. I have 3-4 days a week now where I have no help until late at night.

I made dinner alone tonight with Collyn sitting on the counter coloring and Alden eating a banana. I made their plates up and we sat down to eat. They were both super hungry and ate everything on their plates. Alden asked for more. I gave him a big smile and said,

"ALDEN! I'm so proud of you that you ate so good!!! Momma loves seeing you eat! It makes me so happy!!!"

He looked me straight in the eye and said,

"Since I ate good, you will stop yelling? You won't be mad anymore?"

I walked away with his plate and burst into tears. My 2 year old understands. He saw me get angry. He saw my face when I yelled. He was scared of me. I'm supposed to be his protection. His Momma. I'm supposed to be the one that takes all the pain away and hugs him dearly. I'm supposed to be his friend, make him comfortable, make him happy, make him smile. And, I scared him.

I got down, bowed my head and wept on the kitchen floor. I prayed. I prayed God would help me not make this mistake again. That I would keep my temper down, keep my voice calm, talk softly to my children even when I'm angry. Speak softly to my kids in good and bad times. I prayed that I could be their rock and not a disaster of a mother.

I filled Alden's plate and brought it back to him. I got down to his level and told him that Momma wouldn't yell any more. I would work on it. I would try to not be angry anymore. And, I will. I have to for my babies. They need me. They need me to be strong, yet gentle. I want them to want to come to me in any situation, knowing I won't judge or get angry.

My 2 year old taught me a huge lesson today. And, I'm thankful he did.

Just a Journey... Learning the whole way.

So, yesterday I came to a conclusion being a stay-at-home mom and wife. And, I think this happens to women who work also, and women who don't have children....

I clean my house every day. I usually vacuum every day. I do the dishes, change diapers, take care of 2 kids, shower with kids in the bathroom with me, makes beds, do laundry, make meals, play referee, etc. All in the span of the 8-9 hours Lyndon is at work. Then, when he is home I am still doing the mommy thing... Dinner, dishes, bath time, jammies... The list goes on and on.

In the (Almost) 3 years I have been staying home with kids, I swear, every day as I am cleaning I think... "Man, Lyndon will love what the house looks like when he gets home." I make a meal and think, "Lyndon loves this meal, he will be so excited that I made it." But every day I get let down.

I guess I just waited for him each day to come, sweep me off my feet with flowers in his hand, tell me the house is beautiful, I am beautiful, don't worry about making dinner he will take care of it, just to put my feet up and watch some TV in bed, he will do the rest. When he walks into each room he notices the details, Wow... You mopped the floors, and scrubbed the stove? The laundry is done and put away? The kids are clean and changed and LOOK! You even taught them something new today. You, my wife, are fantastic. You deserve a vacation! Then, he kisses me and tells me how amazed he is at the woman he married. How blessed he is.

I WISH!

Men don't notice things.

Last night I brought it up to him. Yeah- Maybe my description is a little dramatic, or a lot... Because if he didn't that I would be TOTALLY freaked out. But, I think as a mom and wife all I am looking for respect from my husband for what I do each day.

Men don't realize how much we do on a daily basis. It is normally organized chaos in my house and by the time he gets home, it looks the way it does every day. Even though the process was crazy. Cleaning up toilet paper that has been unraveled in the bathroom, water spilled in the kitchen, clothing pulled from drawers, toys everywhere... At the end of the day it looks like I have it (Pretty much) together.

So, I talked to him about it. I told him I wasn't sure why we as mom's sit in silent anger because our spouses don't notice the details. I think it comes down to we both have to give on each side. Lyndon won't notice the details, but maybe he could try harder when he walks through the door to find one thing... Oh! You cleaned the toy room... Looks great! And I need to give in to the fact that he will not notice that I dusted above the cupboards or organized the kids books on the shelf. It was almost freeing to talk to him about it. Something we both are working on. I don't just do everything for credit, don't get me wrong, but in every other profession you get rewarded for a job well done. You get promotions, higher pay, employee of the month, recognition at a company dinner, etc. What do mom's get? Ehhh.... A dirty diaper and then the naked kid running away from you?

Don't sit in silent anger. Talk to your spouse about it. It really does help. Life and parenthood is all a journey and I am just learning the whole way. I make mistakes but I want to be honest with myself and others. There are definitely dark times in life, but also the triumphs. We just have to be honest about them all.

Youth Group

About 5 or 6 weeks ago, we decided to start a youth group in our church. Apparently, there was a youth group in the past, but it hasn't been going for a while now.

We decided to open our home to the youth in town every Wednesday evening. Our house is the perfect location. It is across the street from the high school in the middle of town. You can't really get lost finding it. We also made the decision to make a meal for them every week. Meals bring people together. It also takes stress off parents trying to figure out meals before sending them to youth group. Some things we have made already:

Pizza (Take-and-Bake)

Spaghetti with French bread and green salad

Loaded Baked Potatoes

Lasagna with garlic bread and Caesar salad

This week we are having Hamburgers. The week before thanksgiving we are going to have a "Thanksgiving" style dinner.

I figured I would be making these meals by myself each week, never expecting help. Fortunately, we have an AMAZING church family who are willing to bend over backwards and help. There have been weeks where I barely have to make anything because they take care of the majority of it. It's wonderful!

We are currently doing the Rob Bell "Nooma" videos. Then, we discuss the video after. Of course, during the discussion, we have dessert!!!! :) (Notice that I love food??)

The first week of youth group we had 3 teens. The next week, 7. The 3rd week, 12. We just keep growing and growing. Normally, we have 13-15 kids in our house. It's such a fun time and I look forward to it every week.

Happy Halloween 2013

Our first official holiday in Willows. It was great. The weather was amazing. It was 75 degrees outside and sunny. What a beautiful day.

Alden was Buzz Lightyear

Collyn was Woody

They loved their costumes and played the part very well.

We had a trunk-or-treat in the church parking lot. We had about 4-5 cars giving out candy plus a hot dog BBQ and some games with prizes. There was a good number of people that came. I would guess around 150. It was such a great time.

Willows Welcomes New Pastor

Here is the news article about our family in the local newspaper a week ago.