Embracing Who I Am

I'm an introvert. I will come out and say it. I'm an introvert in a society of extroverts. I almost feel put down for being an introvert. I am perfectly comfortable being alone all day with my kids, cleaning the house, making meals, reading books... alone. The problem is... I've always put myself down for this.

It started when I was younger, way younger... About 6 or 7 years old. I was extremely, painfully shy. I couldn't order at a restaurant for myself without getting sick to my stomach. I would hide behind my mom's legs when an adult I didn't know came and said 'Hi' to me. I almost broke into tears I was so shy. My mom noticed this and put me in different activities to help with this. I was put into dance and gymnastics at a young age. I used to always joke, you can't be shy when you are on a 4 inch balance beam with a wedgie you can't pick (You will get marked down for that) in front of an audience of hundreds of people and four judges. These activities helped. I was able to travel lots of places and meet lots of good friends.

Onto high school, I was a cheerleader. I LOVED it! Most people think all cheerleaders are peppy, excited, wants to be in the spotlight all the time, extroverts who are always the life of the party.

Eh.

I had my moments.

I loved the group of girls I cheered with. I have so many wonderful memories! They were my comfort zone. I had no problem getting out and cheering in front of a crowd because I had all my good friends surrounding me. I learned to hide this shyness and introverted-ness. I began modelling my junior year of high school. Once I entered that, I realized I was in a dog-eat-dog world that wasn't for me. I booked clients here and there but I wasn't tough enough for the industry. I kept modelling until I was 20 and then pulled out all together. My contract was up and I didn't re-sign with my talent agency.

I pushed myself to be out there, in the crowd, trying to be talkative and open. It wasn't me and I know people saw through it.

To make it even worse, I have the relaxed face that looks like I am pissed at the world. It is called something not too nice (-W-itch face, but with a B). People perceive me as a snob, stuck-up, and witchy when they first meet me because I'm not the one to start a conversation and I have the lovely angry face when I'm not smiling.

I've pushed myself so hard to try to be an extrovert. The world tells me I should be. You need to be a go-getter! You need to be out with a group of friends every weekend doing wild things.... "Enjoying Life". If you don't, you aren't fully embracing life. I have come to the conclusion that is NOT me and I don't have to pretend anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE an invitation to do something fun with friends. I won't be the one to get that group or friends together. I love parties, get-togethers, BBQ's, church functions, etc. But I am not going to be the one going table to table striking up a conversation with everyone. I find it more enjoyable to sit at a table and watch those people, or have a one-on-one conversation with someone.

I love to be involved, but I like to be behind the scenes. I love cooking meals for youth group every week. It brings so much joy to me. But, it is really hard for me to get involved with the game they are playing that night. It makes me uncomfortable. I would always beat myself up afterward that I wasn't involved enough or stepped out of my comfort zone a little.

I don't pray out loud in crowds. I always felt horrible because I didn't. Then, I came to the conclusion that when I get to heaven God isn't going to meet me at the gates and say, "Yeah, so... you were going to come in, but you never prayed out loud in a group, so sorry...." and slam the door in my face.

I don't want to speak in front of crowds. I don't feel like I need to. That is Lyndon's job, he's the preacher (Wink, wink)

In all, I am learning to embrace who I am. I like to sit with my kids and read books. I like to crochet. I like to read novels. I like to sit outside in the mornings with a cup of coffee. I like to have good one-on-one conversations with people. I like evenings as a family. I like to talk to my husband while cuddling. I like to find random movies on Netflix and watch them in bed.

I shouldn't beat myself up because I am not always comfortable around large crowds. I am not going to hate myself for enjoying alone time. I'm not going to look down on myself because I'm not comfortable praying out loud in a crowd. I'm not going to hate myself because people think I am snobby because of my relaxed, serious, face.

I am going to embrace who I am and start enjoying life more.

I'm an introvert in an extrovert world.

And, I'm proud of it.

Kiddo Updates

I haven't done these forever! I thought I would, just for fun.

Here we go!

Mr. Alden Update:

Age: 3 Years 4 Months

GROWTH:
Weight: 32 pounds (50th percentile)
Height: 38 inches (75th percentile) His dad is 6 ft 4 in. He's going to be tall, most likely.

SLEEP: Oh, my Alden.... How I love you kid, but you don't sleep. I swear my oldest will sneak into our bed every night. He sleeps majority of the night in his bed and then sneaks in without waking us around 4:30-5. I know this only because he's woke me up a few times doing this. Most of the time, I wake up with another body in the middle of Lyndon and I, zonked out. We are working on this issue, but it's hard to fix while sleeping. We've talked to him about it, but there isn't much else we can do. His bedtime is 9 PM and sleeps until about 7:30 AM, besides his little walk to our room. He rarely takes naps any more. Only when he is completely exhausted will he take naps, but for the most part, no naps.

EATING: Alden is my picky one. Peanut butter no jelly sandwiches, certain types of apple juice, only chicken (I can sometimes sneak beef, but rarely). Very picky. It's a struggle, but he eats tons of fruits and veggies (The one thing is isn't picky over, fresh fruits and veggies), lots of rice, potatoes, beans, peanuts, etc to get those good nutrients in him. He is my bird. We leave his meal on the table for a good 2 hours after he is finished because he will come back and eat the rest here and there. He will finish the meal, you just have to be patient with him. He is a normal 3 year old. 3 solid meals per day, snacks in between. Juice, milk, water. His favorite food is peanut butter sandwiches and grapes.

CLOTHING: 4T

DIAPERS: WE ARE POTTY TRAINED!!!!! YEAH! He has been potty trained since late December, right before his 3rd birthday. He wears pull-ups at night, just in case, but he tends to be dry in the morning. I would rather have him wear training pants than wash sheets every morning. :)

DEVELOPMENT: We are homeschooling for preschool. We have learned the letter A Through N and 1 through 4. He knows his colors and shapes (More than he is supposed to), he is riding his bike with training wheels, practicing T-Ball and Hockey, He is drawing with a purpose now and trying to stay within the lines while coloring. He can write his name. His vocabulary is great.

Mr. Collyn

Age: 1 year 9 Months

GROWTH:
Weight: 22 pounds (Not even on the chart... itty bitty)
Height: 31 inches (Below the 3rd percentile)
This kid is tiny. And, he eats like a horse!!!!

SLEEP: Collyn sleeps amazing! He is now in a big boy bed with a safety railing. His bedtime is 9PM just like his brothers and he sleeps through the night until 7:30 or 8 AM. He loves his big boy bed! He climbs right in for bedtime and goes right to sleep at night. He is such a good sleeper. He naps at 12:30 or 1 everyday and sleeps until about 2:30 or 3:30 depending on how tired he is. He also naps well. I get him laid down, and he closes his eyes and goes to sleep, unlike his brother. ;) I am very satisfied with his sleeping habits.

EATING: Like I said, this kid eats like a horse. Anything you put in front of him, he will eat it. He loves meat (Unlike his brother). His favorite meal is Shepherds Pie. He loves Cheese Sticks (The Sargento Colby Jack kind) and bananas.

CLOTHING: 18 Month - 2T

DIAPERS: Size 4. He is not interested in potty training at all, and we aren't pushing it one bit. He sees his brother go, but no interest yet. Plus, he is still too little to even get up onto the toilet and I refuse to use the toddler toilets on the floor. A stool and real toilet work great for us and less cleanup!

DEVELOPMENT: He is talking a lot slower than Alden did. He isn't too interested in saying much. He says about 7-10 words that you can understand and will combine them like, "Bye, Daddy." but, he isn't too interested in talking. His motor skills are out of this world. He can run and kick a ball at the same time, maneuver a bike wherever he wants it, throw a ball accurately, stack blocks, etc. He loves to do artwork when Alden is doing his preschool lessons. He "does preschool" also. ;)

Family Photo's Spring 2014

Lyndon's Parents Visit

This past weekend (Thursday-Sunday) Lyndon's parents came down to visit. It was a great weekend for them to come because it was Lamb Derby weekend in town. (A local event in Willows). They arrived Thursday evening and I had dinner waiting for them after their long drive. We sat and talked in the evening and all went to bed early.

On Friday, the boys played outside and showed their grandparents their garden. The boys showed off the baseball skills. Bob and Kem brought them Easter baskets since they weren't able to make it for Easter. They got eggs, candy and new clothes (Captain America, their fave)!

On Saturday, we celebrated Mothers Day because they were going to leave Sunday afternoon. Saturday morning we headed to the Lamb Derby parade downtown. The boys got snow cones and we even caught a football that Collyn got to keep.

After the parade we headed home and the boys took their naps. Lyndon made dinner that night for us. A special Mothers Day dinner. Delicious steak, potatoes, Italian salad, and cheesecake for dessert. It was so good. Chef Lyndon did great!

Later that evening, Lyndon's aunt Kathy came by. She lives an hour away from us in Roseville, CA. We had a good time with her and she brought us a beautiful housewarming gift!

Lyndon's parents got new furniture for their living room so they hauled their two old couches 10 hours so we could have new furniture! What a blessing!

We had such a great time with Lyndon's family. It was a short trip, but full of fun!

Happy Easter 2014!!

Happy Easter 2014!

This was the first Easter away from family. Lyndon's family tried to make it down, but scheduling didn't work out, so we spent the day at home. It was great! A nice restful Easter. I didn't even make an Easter dinner and no one complained because we were all so exhausted. Easter is a busy time for pastor and his family. We were ready for some rest.

The boys got new suits for Easter and they looked so stinkin' cute!

The boys got their Easter baskets on Saturday morning. We decided we wanted to keep the Easter Bunny and Resurrection Sunday separate. The boys woke up to goodies in front of the fireplace. It was nice to give them gifts on Saturday because they could play with them all day with no where to go. :)

On Sunday, we went to church. There was a church breakfast before church that was delicious! After church there was an Easter Egg Hunt for the kiddos. They really enjoyed it.

It was such a relaxing Easter Sunday. We definitely missed our families, but we had the best Easter we could without them around.

Spring Break FUN!

My nieces, Hannah and Hayden, had their Spring Break in March. They came down for the week to spend time with us. We had SO MUCH FUN!

They arrived Saturday afternoon after the long 10 hour drive from Idaho. They were all bundled in their sweatshirts and pants to get out into 80 degree weather! Big shock! The girls instantly kicked off their shoes and jackets and ran through the green grass and played in the dirt. Within an hour of their arrival, we headed to the park so they could run off some energy.

On Sunday, the whole family headed to church. After church, we went to Chico, CA so my they could experience In-N-Out Burger for the first time. YUMM!!! Then, we headed to Bidwell Park for an afternoon of sun, warmth, and playtime. On our way home, we stopped for some frozen yogurt.

On Monday, Susan and Cody headed back to Weiser, ID and the girls and boys played around the house and rested all day. They played for hours outside in the sunshine. Then, they had a sleepover in the living room and watched Frozen..... a lot.

I think we watched Frozen 50 times that week. I'm not kidding.

On Tuesday, I took the girls to get their nails done. We went to a nail salon in Chico, went out to lunch at Olive Garden, and then came home and watched... you guessed it... Frozen.

On Wednesday, the girls helped me get the house ready for youth group, and helped me make dinner. For lunch, I let the kids make their own pizzas. They really enjoyed that! In the afternoon on Wednesday, we had tornado warnings. I let my sister know and we had lots of people praying for us. Thank goodness the storm was a few miles north of us. The kids had no idea what was going on. I even took Hannah outside with me to take pictures. Bad Aunt on my part. She thought it was cool. All the kids even helped me bring all the toys in from the wind.

On Thursday, we stayed around the house because it was rainy and cold. We also packed up the car to head to San Francisco the next morning.

On Friday, we went to San Francisco. We drove over the Golden Gate bridge and went to Fisherman's Wharf. We ate lunch at Rainforest Cafe, watched the Sea Lions on the wharf, rode a carousel, ate a hot fudge Sundae at Guiradelli Square, and walked the hills of San Fran! By the end of the day all the kids (And adults) were exhausted! It was such a fun day!

On Saturday we loaded the car again and spent the last full day on Spring Break with the girls. EARLY EARLY EARLY (4:15 AM)on Sunday, we got into the car and I drove 10 hours by myself with 4 kids (Ages 8, 6, 3, and 1) We made it safely to Idaho with no complications and the kids traveled so well!

It was such a fun week!

My favorite picture of the week: