My boys are best friends. They do everything together. They are more comfortable sleeping in the same bed than separately. They go everywhere together. I love to watch their bond grow daily.
The other day they climbed into the chair together, so I covered them with a blanket not thinking anything of it. I come back 5 minutes later to this....
I just absolutely love these boys.
I can't believe it. It's happened. My baby boy is officially a little boy. Whenever a little boy gets his first hair cut, it instantly makes him years older. I swear he is acting older and doing older boy things. Makes me want to tear up just thinking about it.
We are blessed to have a man, Ron, in our church congregation who is a retired barber. We love to have someone special to us do our boys first cuts because it is a big event. He still has his barber chair in his garage and we went to his house one afternoon to get it cut.
Alden went first which encouraged Collyn to get his cut. Alden, of course, did an amazing job. Not his first rodeo. He sat like a big boy and everything. He only complained that the hair was itchy on his neck, so Ron gave him the "magic wand" to brush the hair off wherever it was itchy.
Once it was Collyn's turn, we decided he would sit on my lap to make him more comfortable. Of course, he saw Alden holding the "magic wand" so he HAD to have it. It kept him occupied for a few minutes. After about 5 minutes he was bored and wiggly. We played the game, 'Throw the lip gloss on the ground and mommy picks it up'. I rarely let him do that game because it annoys me, but desperate times call for desperate measures. ;) ;)
While each boy was getting his hair cut, the other was able to play in Rons jeep. That was a highlight of their night.
I have to admit. Northern California has a wonderful, beautiful, amazing fall.
Idaho's fall weather lasts about 2-3 weeks. It goes from hot to freezing within a matter of weeks. My parents told me they are already in the freezing temperatures at night.
Northern California is great. I haven't ran my heat or air conditioning once for two months now. The weather has been a perfect 75-80 degrees every day. It has rained a couple times but every day is blue skies. The trees are changing colors and we can actually be outside and enjoy them because it is warm enough. The boys have been in jackets maybe once, and it is almost November. I love it.
We are definitely enjoying fall this year. Halloween is supposed to be in the mid-70's. The boys are going to be Buzz Lightyear and Woody. I took a picture of them in their costumes when they arrived in the mail. Adorable.
Homesickness is rough. I don't think there is anything that can cure it besides time.
I read a good article from the University of Oregon about homesickness. This is primarily for college students who have just left home for the first time and feel completely alone. I didn't leave for college. I lived with my parents for my college years and moved out (A block away from the home I grew up in) a month before I married Lyndon.
Here are some good ideas for how to cope with Homesickness.
Make New Friends.
Invite people to dinner, go to the movies, park, or public place with someone. Know that you won't make a best friends instantly. Bonding takes time and don't feel like you have to pour out your heart and soul all at once. It's okay to be shy.
This helped me a lot. Being a pastors wife somewhat limits you "friendships". Some people put you on a pedestal and watch your every move. They wait for you to misstep just to correct you in time. I have made a few friendships in the first couple months of being here. Of course, they aren't close bonds yet, because it does take time and I take a while to warm up to people.
Do Something Alone.
...Just so you know you can. Learn a new hobby. Scrapbook, write a journal to put down your innermost feelings that not everyone needs to know. Keep a box of motivating poems, letters, items, etc. that help you. Start some sort of physical exercise. Go for a walk, hike, or bike ride.
I have recently taken up crocheting. It has helped me a lot. When the boys go down for naps, I love to sit for a good 30 minutes and crochet. I have also started a Zumba class in town. I go with a couple girls from church and it has been nice to meet people and then I see them around town, recognize them, and am able to say "Hi." It makes it much easier.
Keep A Positive Attitude.
Tell yourself this feeling won't be forever. You will visit your family within the near future.
This is the HARDEST for me. I feel secluded. I explained it to Lyndon like this... -I grew up in the same home my whole life. The same bedroom. I moved a block away from my parents when we got married. I saw every person of my immediately family if not every day, at least 3-5 times a week. We were constantly at family dinners, family gatherings, choir concerts, recitals, soccer games, t-ball games, fire and work dinners, all with family. I had my family and my comforts around me all the time. After we moved, this was pulled from me and I haven't been back for a couple months now. This doesn't sound like much to most people, but when you see your parents almost every day of your entire life (Including married life) it's a tough thing to walk away from.
Self-Talk
Tell yourself... "I won't always be alone." "Everyone who moves away feels this. It's normal." Try to motivate yourself.
Take advantage of the town around you.
Most towns and cities have gems just waiting to be found. The library, museums, antique stores, downtown, etc. Sometimes it's just nice to grab a map and go. Find some stores that are fun or some unique restaurants that when your family comes to visit, you can take them to. Try to make the new home and town your own.
It's been a pretty rough transition moving away, but it gets easier one day at a time. I never thought I would be the person to move away from the town I grew up in. I was perfectly comfortable. Little did I know God had a different plan for me. It's definitely been an experience.
Just know... It will be okay and it's just fine to make a trip back home to get recharged. :)
For more advice on homesickness from the University of Oregon http://counseling.uoregon.edu/dnn/SelfhelpResources/Transitions/HowtoCopewithHomesickness/tabid/368/Default.aspx
Moving to a new town has been an adventure. A great one. It has had it's ups and downs. I've been sad and excited all at the same time. We have been here for a little over 2 months. With Lyndon becoming the new pastor of the Christian Church in town (A small town) people know who we are. I was out and about one day with the boys and I started having a conversation with a lady from town. She asked if my husband was the new pastor here in town. I said yes. She then asked me what I do. I proudly told her that I stay home with my boys, they are one and two years old. She looked me in the eye and said, "Oh, so you don't work?"
My first reaction was shock. I looked at her all nervous and shy and said, "Well, not outside the home." Our conversation eventually came to a close and we went our separate ways. When I was driving home with my kids in the back seat talking gibberish to each other I just sat in silence thinking. What do people think stay-at-home moms do? Watch the kids tear the house up and then our husband comes home to save the day? Hardly. It hurt my feelings at first, then frustrated me, then made me realize I don't think people actually know, or care to know, what happens all day when you stay home. It's not glitz and glamour. However, I wouldn't change it for the world.
Each day is different and my calendar is usually packed full of things each day. Yes, I am not bringing in an income while I am busy, but I am raising two boys who will eventually become young men and I am training them day by day to become Godly men and human beings people want to be around.
I just figured I would make a list of what I do on a normal day, majority of the time. There are always different things popping up through the weeks, but I usually have the same routine different days of the week.
7:00 AM- Wake Up. Lyndon is up at this time also and jumps into the shower. The boys wake up also and I get them up and ready for the day. Lyndon or I go straight into the kitchen and get a sippy cup of juice and a bottle for Collyn. I rock Collyn for a good 15-20 minutes and Alden sits on the couch and watches a TV show, usually Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
7:30 AM- Breakfast. Lyndon is out of the shower and getting ready for the day. I start breakfast for the boys. I make a hot breakfast every morning. Even if it is just frozen waffles and some yogurt. We rarely eat cereal. I get the boys set up in their chairs and hand them their food.
7:45 AM- Lyndon leaves for work. I clean up breakfast and get the boys clothes for the day. I change diapers (Yes, I still have 2 in diapers) and change them into their clothes. They go into the bathroom and we brush teeth and hair. They are ready for the day.
8:00 AM- I turn on one more show for the boys and I get into the shower. I never shower alone. The TV show only works for a couple minutes before I have at least one boy in the bathroom. I can usually get shampoo in my hair and Collyn usually tends to go for the toilet bowl brush and tries to run out of the bathroom with it. I grab him just in time and put it back in its spot and climb back into the shower. Collyn is the sneaky one and will get onto the toilet and get into the medicine cabinet. This is the reason there is nothing on one side of our cabinet. I have to get after him the whole time I shower (4-5 minutes). His other favorite thing to do is to throw my bra in the shower while the water is on. What a fun game. I get ready for the day with kids at my feet asking questions, wanting to be held, wanting me to fix a toy, having 20 questions in 20 seconds, wanting to watch another show, etc. I am lucky to throw my hair into a pony tail and put some mascara on.
8:30 - 10:30 AM- Clean. I clean every day. EVERY DAY! I have 2 toddlers. This is all I do. My morning routine is to go room to room and get things clean so the boys can mess it up again. I open the window shades, vacuum the living room and dining room, make beds, vacuum bedrooms, start the dishes from the night before (I don't do my dishes after dinner) and start a load of laundry. After I get everything completely clean, I go back into the living room and start again. Because, by this point the boys have pulled toys from the toy room into the living room and they are only playing with 2 or 3 of the 50 they pulled out.
10:30 - 11:30 AM- I will usually take time to play with the boys on the ground. I will read books with them, play hide and seek, or sit and play with cars with them. This, for some reason, is about the time people stop by our house. I guess it's the perfect time for a visit. I will have a conversation with the person that visits and watch my kids pull more toys out for the toy room that they will play with for another 10 minutes and move on from.
11:30 AM - 1:00 PM- Right before noon I start lunch. Again, I make a hot meal for lunch. Sometimes, by request (Alden's) we will have macaroni and cheese or canned ravioli. I will sometimes make grilled cheese or tuna sandwiches with soup of some kind. If I am really motivated I will go as far as spaghetti, sloppy joes, or hamburgers and homemade French fries. Lyndon is home at noon for lunch, so we eat lunch together as a family. Lyndon talks about what has been going on during the morning. At 12:30, I get a bottle for Collyn and rock him to sleep for his nap. Collyn naps from 12:30-2:30 PM.
1:00 PM- Lyndon has left to go back to work and Collyn is down for his nap. I clean up the lunch dishes and wash them by hand because there usually isn't a lot of them. I move laundry and fold and put away what was in the dryer. The, I go back in to the living room and clean up all the toys that were left from the morning. Alden will (Sometimes) take a nap during the day. It is usually about 1:30- 2:30 PM. If he falls asleep I will start one of my TV shows that I record and sit for a while and get on Facebook or work on my crochet project.
2:30 PM- The boys wake up from their naps. Double diaper change. It is snack time, so I make a plate for each boy and get them sat to eat it. Then, I clean up the mess.
3:00 PM- Usually the time we run errands that need to be done. Post office, grocery store, Bank, Library, visit Lyndon at work etc.
4:30 PM- Home from errands and I get the boys back into the house and they start playing with their toys again. I will move laundry if there is any left and I will pull out the meat for dinner.
5:00 PM- Start dinner. Lyndon comes home at 5:00 so he will play with the boys. I cook dinner, usually with one or both boys in there with me, because bothering mom is way more fun than toys at that point of the day. Collyn likes to sit on the counter while I cook and watch. I set the table for dinner and everyone is cranky and hungry by this point so it tends to be pretty loud in the house.
5:45 or 6: Dinner. Both boys plate are made. Grace is said. then, we attempt to eat dinner as a family. Collyn usually is throwing food on the floor and Alden likes to get down from his chair and convince us after two bites he is done and full. So, I am picking up food the whole time, taking a bite, putting a two year old back in his seat, taking a bite, getting kids more food, taking a bite, refilling drinks, taking a bite.
6:30- Clean up dinner. I refuse to do the dishes after dinner. I leave them for the morning. I get everything off the table, wipe everything up and sit down for a couple minutes to breathe and talk to Lyndon.
7:00 - 7:30- Bath time. This is an adventure all it's own. Water everywhere. He stole my toy, Collyn unplugging the drain (Notice a trend with Collyn), I don't want shampoo tonight, crying because their is water in their eyes, I don't want to get out. I dry them off and get them dressed for bed.
8:30- Collyn's bed time. I get Collyn's bottle ready and Lyndon will rock him to sleep and put him in his bed.
9:00- Alden's bed time. At this point, I will sit in bed and watch some TV or read my book. Lyndon will sit in the living room for a while and then venture in to the bedroom a little while after me. This is the time we are actually able to sit and talk.
10:00- I usually crash. I am exhausted.
Not every day is the same routine.
Tuesdays the boys have play group that I go to with them.
During the week I make the church bulletins for Sunday service. I do this with two kids with me by the copier. I copy them at the church, but Lyndon has people in and out of his office, so if anyone comes, I shut us in the copy room and the boys sit quietly while I copy the bulletins.
I make dinner for the youth group every Wednesday. I love it. That is something I love to do. I make this meal every week with both kids at my feet. We have youth group at our house. I have two kids with me the whole time.
I have 2 days a week that I do Zumba. It is an hour twice a week that I am able to go to. This is one of my getaways.
I don't think people understand what it takes to be a stay-at-home mom. I have 2 kids in diapers. I have 2 kids in car seats. When you work, you go to lunch. You go to your car, climb in, start it and go. I get to the car, have Alden stand against the car, throw the diaper bag, my purse, and the car keys in the front seat, strap in Collyn, go around the car, get Alden strapped in, climb in, get everyone happy and go. Then, the routine is backwards to get out. It takes 3 times as long just to go to the store for milk than a normal person.
I am never alone. I always have a child by my feet. I rarely have a night where I don't have a child climbing into bed with me.
I never have a day off. Even of family vacations, I am working at my job. My kids are my job.
I wouldn't change it for the world.
I feel like people think being home is a piece of cake. Just sit around, watch soaps, and let the kids run wild. Not the case at all. Most days I can barely keep my eyes open after 9 PM. I wake up exhausted.
In the last 2 1/2 years, I haven't had a day off or a sick day. I am always working....
So, the lady who I ran into in town, Yes. I do work. Pretty dang hard actually.
I am definitely enjoying the fact that Lyndon has 2 days off each week, Friday and Saturday. Fridays are usually days when we stay home and rest, take naps, watch TV and spend time as a family. Saturday's we have been trying to do fun things to keep us busy. Today was lots of fun!
We started our morning at the Willows Fire Department for their annual pancake breakfast. Lyndon has recently become a volunteer fire fighter there. He is on a 6 month probationary period so he isn't going to fires but he is going to drills and meetings, when it is possible. We went and supported the local fire department for breakfast. It was a good breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and sausage. Collyn ate all of his eggs and Lyndon's eggs plus 1/2 his pancake and an 8 ounce bottle of milk. He is a growing boy! Alden loved the pancakes and orange juice! After we ate, the boys were able to climb on the fire trucks and sit inside them. Alden also got a fire helmet.
After we left the fire department breakfast, we ran through Starbucks for their pumpkin spice latte's and Alden got a hot chocolate. I think they put something in those latte's because I think I might be addicted! :) Kidding. But, seriously. Addicting. Alden loves his hot cocoa. It was a nice treat for the 15 minute drive to the pumpkin patch.
We drove to Orland, California, about 15 minutes from Willows to a cute pumpkin patch called "Country Pumpkins". We started out walking through the pumpkin patch while Lyndon pulled the boys in the wagon and we filled it with gourds and pumpkins. We picked out a few small gourds for the boys, two small pumpkins, a momma size pumpkin and a daddy size pumpkin. Alden loved helping pick them out and Collyn really enjoyed riding in the wagon.
After the pumpkin patch we checked out the animals while Lyndon paid for the pumpkins and took them to the car. Then, we headed to the play area where there was a haystack pyramid with a slide (Alden's favorite) and a tire full of loose corn to play in (Collyn's favorite). They played there for about 10-15 minutes. I was able to walk through the little country store and get some goodies for me and then watch the boys play.
It was a wonderful time. We are starting to get to know the area better and meet new people. There are quite a few opportunities to get the boys outside and enjoy the fall weather, which is beautiful. Most days get to about 75-80 degrees. We now have pumpkins and gourds to decorate for our front steps. :)
For more information about Country Pumpkins check out www.countrypumpkins.net
So, we have been here almost 2 months now. I have already made my way back to Idaho (10 hour drive) by myself and the boys about 3 weeks after we got here. Things are settling in nice and we are back to a schedule.
Sunday's are always busy with church in the morning and Sunday School. Both the boys go to the nursery for church and then Alden is able to go to the pre-school Sunday School. Lyndon stays with the high school Sunday School and I am in a young adults Sunday school class. I am really enjoying the fellowship and teachings each week.
Every other week there is a Mommy Play Group at the park. I have been there when there is just two of us and when there is 8 moms and the playground is filled with kids. It has been really good for my boys to make friends their own age.
On Wednesdays, Lyndon and I have opened up our house to the youth group. Last week was our first week. I am planning on making a meal each week for them and Lyndon will do a lesson and games. Last Wednesday, we had 3 boys show up. This week, we have more promising to come.
Lyndon has Fridays and Saturdays off so Thursday is really our Friday. We have been enjoying the time together as a family. I have been making 3 hot meals a day and we have been able to sit at the table for dinner most nights.
Throughout the last couple months I have found things that have helped me after moving and things that have hindered me. I had a hard time after I moved because I left my whole family behind. My kids left ALL their cousins and I left seriously, my whole family. They were the people I was able to fall back on when I was having a bad day, besides my husband. Here are some things I have found that made the move worse...
#1. Being alone.
The first few weeks after we moved I didn't want to be here. I didn't go to the store unless I had to, I didn't talk to anyone unless I absolutely had to, and I cooped up in my house with my kids and I completely isolated myself. I started getting pretty depressed. However, I had someone from our church faithfully come by the house on a weekly basis just to talk. More on that later. Anyway- one of the worst things to do, be alone.
#2. Don't express my feelings.
I was hurting and I didn't want to tell anyone. Whenever I talked to people for the first few weeks, I had a smile on my face saying, 'yes! I love the area. We are really enjoying being here.' When I really wanted to say, 'I want to go home.' About a month in, I was able to open up and express how I felt to people and it truly helped.
There wasn't too much that hurt the process after the move. I actually did try pretty hard to do the right thing for the kids and me. Things that I found helped:
#1.
Find a good church family.
This is probably pretty obvious for us because Lyndon's job IS the church. But, the first thing you want to do is find a good church family that you can rely on. It is very important to find a community of people that believe the same thing you do. You will connect with people so much faster and find friends with common interests.
#2. Find someone to talk to.
This is hard. But, it is much easier if you do #1. Find someone within the first couple weeks of moving that you feel comfortable talking to and invite them over. I didn't even have to invite the person that I talked to, I think she knew I just would never ask and said, "What are you doing Monday? Can I come over and talk?" She came and we talked for hours. She has faithfully came to the house every week and I have been able to talk to her about things that I can't talk to just anyone about. Definitely find someone you can confide in and someone who can mentor you. The nice thing about the person I found is that she has lived here her whole life and knows everything about the town and makes me feel like family.
#3. Find a group with common interests with you and go to the group "Meeting":
I really didn't know how to title this. This is like a Sunday School class, a craft group, a women's group, a group of moms that goes to soccer games with your kids, etc. Just find a group that you can connect with. Mine was the Mom's Play Group. Every other Tuesday we go to the park and the kids play together. The first week was awkward. I didn't know anyone and everyone knew each other and what was going on in their lives. But, I was able to connect with a few moms, get their numbers, and talk about our lives. I was able to find a good preschool for Alden next year, even!
#4. Tour The Town.
There is no worse feeling than being asked to go somewhere and not know where you are going. Lyndon and I would get in the car in the evenings and learn the town. The basics at first. Grocery store, Library, Post Office, Church, Bank. Then, we did other like church members houses, different ways to get to the church, City Hall, different restaurants, etc. It helped a lot.
There are probably more things that help, but those seemed to be my big ones. If I think of more, I will definitely add them on a later post. Short story long (haha) in the last 2 months I have definitely grown as a woman, a mother, and a Christian with this move. It's easy to say "I rely on God" when you have everything together. When you are hurting, lonely, and scared... "Relying" has a whole different meaning. I knew I would survive, and I am definitely feeling much better about it all.
As a stay-at-home mom, I can definitely seclude myself from the world and shut everything else off outside my house. Not smart. Get out there, meet people, find a good church family, and connect. You will definitely feel better!
I've come to a brilliant conclusion this evening. BRILLIANT I TELL YOU!!!
I am a stay-at-home mom. I have been since my first child was born a little over 2 1/2 years ago. That is 32 months, which would come to 64 pay periods.
Before I had Alden I worked a full-time job. Every pay period I accumulated 2 hours of paid-time-off (PTO). We would hold onto these hours for special occasions and sick days.
In the 32 months of Aldens life, I have accumulated 128 hours of time-off. I am going to call it "MTO" : Mommy-Time-Off. Every 2 weeks I am giving myself 2 hours of uninterrupted time-off. I am not doing anything mommy related. No grocery shopping, running errands, etc. It is exclusively ME TIME. I can add up the hours and have more time during the month.
I just feel like I have been run ragged and there is never time off. With Lyndon's job now, I am able to have a little more flexibility. I am able to drop the kids off with him for a little bit to get things done. I am cashing in those 128 hours and keeping track of how much MTO I get.
Don't get me wrong, Lyndon is great with helping with the kids. But, I always feel guilty when I go somewhere or do something and I should be doing something for the family. This way I can tell myself, "No. You have earned your MTO. Sit back, relax, and enjoy." Guilt free time for me.
Why haven't I thought of this sooner???
(Just a fun picture of the boys tonight.)
I haven't done any updates lately on Alden and Collyn. Things have been a little crazy around here, so I didn't have time. Now, things are calming down, so I will do some updating. :)
ALDEN 2 years 9 months
He is 2 1/2 going on 15. He says the funniest things and some of the most amazing things.
GROWTH: We haven't gone to the doctor for a check-up in 7 months. He doesn't have his next check-up until 3. He weighs about 32-34 pounds. He is a growing boy!
EATING: We are still struggling with meat. I can sometimes hide the meat in casseroles or pastas if I chop it up enough. He doesn't realize it is there and will eat it. Other than that, he turns his nose up to most meats (Even chicken nuggets and cheeseburgers). I am still giving him lots of peanut butter, beans, and other high protein foods to make up for this. His favorite food is Macaroni and Cheese.
SLEEP: He is finally sleeping in his own bed. We bought both boys twin sized beds and when we moved we set up his new bed in his very own room. Collyn and him share a room. He was very excited. There are some nights he will end up in our bed, but he always starts in his own. He is sleeping consistently through the night. His bedtime is at 9:30 and his normal wake-up time is 7 or 7:30 AM.
POTTY-TRAINING/DIAPERS: We have attempted potty training last week. We bought him super hero underpants and Monsters Inc. underpants. We tried every 30 minutes to go. After the first day of accidents and 1 poo in the britches with no potty in the toilet, we figured we would try again another time. He is currently in Size 5 diapers. Potty training will begin in the next few days when I get up the energy and courage to try again.
CLOTHING: 3T
DEVELOPMENT: He is my little smarty pants. I'm not sure what this kid will do in the future, but he is pretty dang intelligent. The other day, he described the water cycle to me... And, was pretty accurate. He can sing his ABC's, count to 20, He knows the shapes Square, Circle, Triangle, and Oval. He knows the colors, Red, Yellow, Blue and Green. He is starting to draw people... Body, head, legs and arms and not so much scribbling anymore. He can stack blocks about 10-12 high. He plays pretend.
I am so proud of Alden. He is such a sweet little guy and a loving big brother.
COLLYN 1 year 2 months
It's amazing how different your kids are. I raise them the exact same, but they grow so differently. Collyn is my rambunctious, busy, little stinker that likes to get himself into trouble. He is constantly wondering what is behind every door, cupboard, drawer, etc. He loves to be my "Helper". He sits on the dryer while I do the laundry and babbles and giggles. He is growing so fast!
GROWTH: Again, his next appointment isn't until he is 18 months, so I haven't had an accurate reading of his weight. He is around 20-21 pounds.
SLEEP: After a little over a year, he is FINALLY sleeping consistently through the night. He is still in his crib and in his own room (With Alden). He was never too interested in co-sleeping and always wanted his own space. He was teething last week so he was up once a night crying, but one of us would rock him and he was back to sleep. He just wanted some love and comfort in the middle of the night. We gave him some Tylenol for a few nights which seemed to help.
EATING: He is still using a bottle. He also uses sippy cups, but he refuses to drink milk from a sippy and juice from a bottle. it has to be the other way around. He is on Whole Milk. This kid will eat ANYTHING! Whatever is put in front of him, he will try and usually devour. He is not a picky eater at all. His favorite food would also be Macaroni and cheese and bananas.
DIAPERS: Size 4
CLOTHING: 12-18 Month
DEVELOPMENT: He has 3 teeth. 2 on the bottom and 1 on top. He has taken a long time to get teeth. He is walking now with some crawling. He can climb anything and everything. He can stack 3-4 blocks but likes to push them over more. He's learning how to hold a crayon and colors with his brother. He can say Momma, Dada, This, That, Dog. He points at everything and is interested in everything that is in sight and at his level.
He is such a sweet tiny little guy and I am so glad he is part of our family. He definitely keeps me busy and on my toes all day.
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