With the whirlwind of things that have been happening lately, Lyndon and I just sat back and talked about the last 4 years of marriage. Where we have been through, the ups and downs, the struggles, and how much we made it through... together. There may have been days when we wanted to strangle each other, but we are both still here, so we didn't actually do the strangling! :)
Looking back 4 years ago, we would have never thought we would go through the things we did, or even end up in Northern California.
When we were first married, we lived in my late grandfathers home. Ironically, this is the house my sister and her family live in now. We rented the house from my parents and my sister and her husband eventually bought the house from my parents. Anyway- we lived in this house. I worked at Idaho Pizza Company nights and weekends part-time. I didn't get off work until about 10 PM - 12 AM depending on the night. Lyndon was working part-time at Idaho Garboligist and part-time at West Valley Church. We didn't make much money. We were so excited when Lyndon fixed the antenna on our roof and a lady from church gave us her converter box so we had local channels!! We then were able to afford some internet. About a month in the marriage I got a full-time job at Guardian Home Care in Fruitland, ID (same town as the church Lyndon was working at). He worked there Wednesdays and Thursdays and so we were able to eat lunch together on those days. We had a little more money because I was working full-time and had benefits. We thought we had it all, and we did. We were able to buy a new 2010 Ford Focus because we had a little extra spending money. Ha!
A week before we made the first payment on the car, I took a pregnancy test and found out we were expecting our first child. We were thrilled! Lyndon got more work at the Garboligist, bringing him on pretty much full-time and also still working at the church on Wednesdays. I worked until 29 weeks of pregnancy and then quit my job. I knew I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. The dance studio I had worked at for the past 10 years offered me some more work and I was allowed to bring the baby to practice. What could be better? After I quit at Guardian, things were still great.
We decided to move into a different house about 3 blocks away from the house we were currently in. Probably a mistake looking back. The layout was better than the house we were in and it was a good location and had 3 bedrooms instead of 2. After Alden was born, we started to struggle financially. We had doctors bills, hospital bills, formula, diapers, wipes, clothing, medicine, etc. The bills started outweighing the income. I did everything I possibly could to try to save money. Keeping the heat down in the winter (Which wasn't easy because the house was older and never updated the windows. You could feel the cold air coming through the bottom of the front door and through cracks in the windows). When we finally did our budget, we realized we only had $20 left in our account at the end of the month. That only included $100 worth of groceries for the month (Including baby formula and diapers). It was a harsh reality. Lyndon left on a weekend trip with the youth group and I stayed with my parents. I cried to my mom about the situation. I was devastated at what my life had come to. I had a baby that was weeks old and I could barely feed our family. She and my dad agreed to help get us back on our feet. We went to Winco, a local discount grocery store and filled us with a months worth of food. I was so grateful. Lyndon and I were able to eat things other than Mac & Cheese (Did you know you only need water to mix the powder, no milk or butter needed.)
Things started looking up the next summer. I was offered to buy the dance studio, which I said yes, and we figured that would help with lots of bills. Lyndon was given a raise at work so his paychecks were looking better. I started the dance studio year off great. I had about 90 kids coming and I was able to write myself a paycheck for a little extra money. We were able to buy Alden some new toys and NEW clothes, not yard sale or used clothes. Right before Christmas, things were amazing. I then thought I had the stomach flu.... Wrong. We were pregnant with our second child.
Back to doctors bills and hospital bills... Plus, more diapers, wipes and formula. All this was flying through my head. Thankfully the dance studio brought in enough income that I could pay my doctor bill each month and pay it off before Collyn was born. We were still living in the house on Liberty Street. In early March, which in Idaho there is still snow on the ground with freezing temperatures at night, our furnace broke in the house. I called the landlord and she told me that it would eventually start warming up so she wasn't going to fix it until later. I called Lyndon in tears. He called her and she said she would get it fixed. We moved in June and nothing was done about it by that point. It was so cold in the house that I had a space heater that I would move from the living room to the bedroom. I would start the oven at 350 degrees and open the oven door. I also would boil water on the stove and I baked a lot of things trying to keep the house warm. Alden was just over a year old and I had to bundle him every day. He wore sweats and socks with a long-sleeve shirt and a sweatshirt on and sometimes a hat. We spent time only in the bedroom, kitchen, and living room. We sat in front of the space heater.. And by space heater, I mean the one that can sit on a table that costs $15 at the store. The heater would get the room we were in to about 58-60 degree. She also put the house on the market without informing us. I found out when a realtor called me to schedule an appointment to take photos of the house. At the end of March, we decided it was time to find another house. We realized that renting was more expensive than owning a home, so we started house hunting.
Lyndon worked all the time, so pregnant me and little Alden went and looked at houses during the day. I usually brought my mom with me to see them. We found the house on West 1st Street. I loved it. It was double the size of the Liberty Street house and it was newer. No more drafty windows and doors. We put an offer on the house and went back and forth a few times and came to an agreement. We then used some money from the dance studio and some savings bonds that I had saved through the years to help get the house. In June 2012 we became homeowners. We couldn't be more excited. I was 7 months pregnant with Collyn when we moved in. We got everything set up just in time and Collyn arrived at the beginning of August.
Life was crazy with a newborn and a 1 year old. Lyndon was still working like crazy 6 days a week and usually 12-13 hours a day. We didn't see him much. The beginning September I started dance again. 4 weeks after I had Collyn. The response that year wasn't as strong at the year before. I had only 35-40 kids start dance. That meant less than half the income also. Income we were planning on using. The entire 2012-2013 dance year I made nothing at the studio. There were some months I was putting our own money that we desperately needed into the studio to keep the doors open. The boys were growing and getting adorable, but also that meant doctors bills and hospital bills from Collyn's birth. There was no way were able to pay the amount they wanted for Collyn's birth. I was able to get ahold of the financial department of the hospital and fill out some paperwork to reduce the amount from the bill. In November, we were sent a letter from the hospital stating the hospital wrote the ENTIRE BILL off because of our income and number of family members. I showed Lyndon the letter and cried. Babies are expensive all in themselves let alone a hospital bill. We were so grateful that we didn't have to pay that.
After Christmas, Lyndon and I started talking that something needed to change. 4 years had been exhausting and we hadn't seen each other most of that time because of babies, jobs, and schedules. He started looking for different jobs. He talked to the current church we were at about coming on full-time and they said they just weren't financially able to do that. Lyndon got on the internet and we looked at different church jobs, since that is what he wanted to do for his career. We looked at different churches websites and nothing looked good.
Then, there was one in Northern California. Willows Christian Church. My first thought, SURE! like they would choose a 26 year old guy to be their pastor. He applied for it without me knowing. I found out that he did when he told me in April 2013 that he had a Skype interview with the board members. Honestly, I prayed that they would hate him. I didn't want to move. I would rather be miserable than move... And, I told that to Lyndon.
He told me the interview went great and the people were really nice. I thought, sure they were nice... They want to get you down there. I know people. It's all business. A few weeks later, I was in the interview with Lyndon. Yep, they actually were nice people. No gimmicks. Throughout the whole process I kept thinking, "NO! I don't want to go!" Even though life isn't great and we have no money and we never see each other, it's better to be in a place that is normal than changing it up.
Of course, then they invited us down to visit the church....
We drove for 2 days to get there. We had a great time and everyone was nice. The town was great and cute. It was "Homey". I just couldn't let myself be happy about it. I cried in the hotel room and told Lyndon I wanted to go home. On our way home from Willows, we were about 2 hours from home and I told Lyndon, "Well, I guess we know what the decision is. We're moving aren't we?" He said, "Yeah. I think it's where we are supposed to be." And then I bawled.
Lyndon and I flew down a few weeks later for him to preach and be voted in by the congregation. My sister watched the boys for us. They unanimously voted him in (Of course) and everyone was excited. I put a smile on my face as we went to lunch to "Celebrate"... yay... (Note the sarcasm). Everyone was just so excited for our decision. Lyndon left the table to sign his contract and I went to the restroom and cried on the toilet. Why was God doing this to us? We had no money, we were struggling, to be honest- our marriage was struggling, and now he was taking me away from everything I had ever known. WHY!? I was so mad! We flew back on the airplane the next day and I had to wrap my head around I was going to be 10hours from everything I've ever known. I was bitter. I was angry. I was depressed. I wanted to run and hide from reality. Life had been miserable for years and I was tired of being exhausted. I had 2 kids ages 2 and under and now I was going to be more exhausted without family around.
Right after Collyn's 1st birthday, I sold the studio, Lyndon quit both his jobs and we packed up our stuff. We loaded everything in a moving truck. Alden rode with Alden and Collyn rode with me in our Focus. Our car 3 years before we were so excited to buy because we had "Extra money". I pulled out of the drive way and cried. I stared at the house I was so proud and excited to buy. I was going to watch my kids grow up in that house. I was going to make great memories in that house. And, those events were pulled from me. I wiped tears from my eyes for 2 hours while I followed the yellow Penske truck down the road... To Willows, California. My new home.
The next day we made it to Willows. Driving down Interstate 5, I saw the Sign... Willows 7 Miles. I broke down again. My life was changing. We pulled the moving truck up to an adorable older home, across the street from the high school with 8-10 men standing in the yard waiting to help us move in. We walked in and got a tour of the house. There was a beautiful bouquet of flowers in the kitchen and the house had been cleaned by the ladies of the church. Our moving truck was unloaded in 2 hours. Blessed.
The first night was hard. I had an anxiety attack. I wanted to go home. This wasn't home. After a couple weeks and learning the town, things started getting better.
God has big plans for us in our lives. I'm just not sure what it all is. Moving was the hardest thing I have ever done. But, it is pretty liberating. I now know I have the potential to do a lot more in life.
I'm sitting here on my couch in my large living room which my one year old naps and my two year old plays on the floor with toys. I have made new friends and ones I will eventually call family. We are still paying for a house we don't live in and a house we are renting. The bills are higher than in Idaho. Money is still super tight, but I now know that I can put food on the table and I will see my husband more. I have realized how blessed I truly am.
The journey was hard and I can't wait to see what the journey will be like next... But, I've realized I really am...
Blessed.
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